Top Ten Ways to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
Breaking up with your girlfriend is one of the worst feelings a man can experience. The good news is, if you play your cards right and you didn’t do anything extraordinarily bad, getting back together isn’t as hard or as distant as it seems. The most important thing to realize is the more you chase her, the more she will run from you, so take a step back, relax, and read these tips to get your ex back:
No Contact Rule
After a breakup, the tendency of most men is to start texting your ex girlfriend like a mad man. This is the exact opposite of what you should do and will only drive her further away. You will come across as a pathetic loser instead of radiating confidence. A good general rule is to avoid all contact with your ex, if possible, for at least 30 days. This will give her the chance to actually miss you and will give you an opportunity to focus on yourself. Don’t make the mistake of drunk texting her, sending her birthday texts, no contact means no contact. Unless it is an absolute emergency there is no reason good enough to contact her. After 30 days she will start to forget about the reasons why you broke up and start recalling the good memories you had together. She will also start to wonder why you haven’t contacted her which will keep you on her mind and will make you appear more attractive.
Reflecting after a breakup is a crucial step to take. It is important to take a step back from the relationship and figure out exactly what went wrong and how to fix it if possible. It is also important to determine if you really want your ex back. Sometimes a break up can be a blessing in disguise.
Going out and being social is one of the most therapeutic things you can do after a breakup. Going out with friends and, yes, even meeting other women is a great way to give yourself a confidence boost. It is important to realize that without your ex that life goes on and that you can attract other women. This will give you the ability to shift your focus away from your ex and enjoy the moment.
Be Wise about Social Media
Do yourself a favor and do not, I repeat, do not look at your ex’s social media accounts. She will likely post things or have conversations that will incite jealousy and cause you to react, no matter how hard you try not to. There is absolutely nothing good that can come from looking at your ex’s social media accounts. At the same time, do not delete or block her, as this will show you are bothered by the breakup. You want to come across as if your life is moving forward with or without you. Chances are, she will be checking out your social media accounts. Do not do anything that will cause her uncontrollable jealousy, but checking into places with friends and posting pictures of yourself with groups of men and women can work wonders in making you appear more attractive to your ex and desirable.
Let Her Initiate Contact
Expanding upon the “no contact” rule, it is important, if at all possible, to let her initiate contact with you after breakup. If your ex contacts you within the first 30 days do not respond. Once the 30 days is up, you can respond if she contacts you first. If she does not contact you after 30 days, wait 45 days. If she did contact you during the first 30 days and asks why you did not respond once you are back in contact, just say you were busy and forgot to get back to her.
If your ex broke up with you, chances are you either did something repulsive or she lost her attraction to you. During the no contact phase it can be quite helpful to pick up a few books on healthy relationships and learn from your mistakes. There are plenty of amazing books on the subject that will help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future, whether with your ex or with any other woman down the road.
Pull, Don’t Push
Dealing with women romantically, is a lot like a game of tug of war. If you push too much, she will run the other direction. Most women much rather chase than be chased. This means let her come to you. If you are able to successfully reinitiate contact with your ex after the no contact phase, let her do most of the work. Don’t propose getting back together, just plan out some fun dates and remind her why she fell for you in the first place. Eventually, if follow the rest of the steps, she will be begging you to be her boyfriend again. Essentially, you have to start off at square one.
Let the Past Go
The first time you contact an ex after a breakup, it is essential to keep the conversation light. Do not bring up any bad memories or arguments you had while you were together. Even if you feel like she was in the wrong, let it go! Bringing up any sort of conflict or negative feelings will only reassure her of her decision to walk away. Keep the conversation short and to the point. Try to end it in on a happy note so that she will subconsciously associate you with positive feelings and want to continue to keep in contact with you.
After you re-initiate contact with your ex, it is important to make yourself not appear too available or desperate. This means don’t instantly respond to every phone call or text message even if you are available. Also don’t be the person to have the last word in ever conversation. It will add to your allure if you suddenly disappear after a evening of talking. She will wonder what you are up to and keep you on her mind.
Work on Yourself
The absolute best thing you can possibly do if you want to get your ex girlfriend back is to work on improving yourself. Doing so will give you more confidence and make you appear more attractive to your ex. Some ideas to improve yourself include overhauling your wardrobe, picking up a new hobby such as playing the guitar or learning a martial art, or going to the gym. Doing so will help in the long run whether or not you get back with your ex or not.
Featured image: Flickr by Masaru Yamamoto